Introduction to Dr. Billa (prelude to interview on philosophy of 'langar banto langar')

I have been very curious to interview some of my country’s intellectual especially from the journalist class who write in newspapers, as they are a very impressive lot, looks like they have solution to all our problems but no one listens to them, though some of the newspapers in which they write are circulated in millions daily. But sadly I was not able to get hold of them, reason is that I live thousands of miles away and I can only write to these eminent personalities and of course they receive posts in thousands daily, admiring their thoughts and efforts they do to solve problems of this nation, most of them spend time meeting ministers, generals, lords and businessmen; attending official dinners and events, hence it is surely difficult for them to check their mails and reply specially answering those which stops them from doing what they do the best and ask them to think (a habit which they have lost in process of evolution). Even if I would be at home, it will be difficult for a common person like me to reach the drawing rooms of these eminent personalities, surely if they spend their time meeting jerks like me then who will be working and writing on solving our problems?

Fortunately my dear friend Majeed introduced me to Dr. Billa, a very prominent scholar living overseas and working hard in the struggle to solve the problems of his fellow countrymen. He writes regularly in daily Bhang, which is widely circulated newspaper of my country, long before 3-idiots was released or even its story was conceived, our daily Bhang was reciting ‘all is well’ and it has a big contribution in keeping our masses silent, as silence brings peace and peace is the pathway for prosperity ( if you don’t ask whose prosperity it is? Then ‘all is well’). Nevertheless he is very much respected across all walks of life especially by politicians, land lords, army generals, bureaucrats and religious scholars.

Why Dr. Billa is called Dr. Billa? it is a very interesting story as well. During his student years when he was doing his Masters and eventually PHD( in sociology and history related subjects like Islamiat, Pakistan Studies, and Urdu literature), he was famous for his laziness, he was sleeping all the time everywhere. He was only waking up when nature calls, i.e. when someone was offering him food, or when it was required to get attention of opposite sex, or if someone was stepping on his tail (offending him) or you know when it can’t be helped waking up and going to respond call of nature. Only then he was waking up and acting accordingly. Hence his friends started calling him Billa (cat), he continues to carry this name and associated characteristics.

Majeed my friend is considered mentally retarded and so no one takes any notice of what he says or does, for same reason he is considered harmless and hence he succeeds in reaching where I cannot, otherwise I am sure I was not able to conduct this highly important interview in which Dr. Billa explained his philosophy of ‘Langar banto Langar’ necessary to keep masses happy where they are, and other beliefs important for stability of the country like ‘don’t ask question you traitor’ ---- you are a traitor if you question any established and accepted narrative surrounding inception of the motherland or events happened afterwards, because it will destabilize the masses and harm the peaceful situation where ‘all is well’, or calling every passed away leader of ours ‘Rehmat –Ulla-Alleh’ ----so that they will become saints and we spent all our lives reciting qawwalis on their shrines, and hang those who say anything not worthy of those personalities.

(To be Continued)

Note:-

--What is written above is fictitious; any resemblance with real life characters, organizations or events will be coincidental

--'Langar banto langar' means give alms and alms and alms.